Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
