so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
The adults are the big ones right?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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