What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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