I love watching others lives come down to our level.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
my poor anus
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Randomize