There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
