once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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