marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
