He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
