your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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