Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I got inside last night via doggy door
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
