It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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