There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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