I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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