It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
