why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
