I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
