to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
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