i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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