Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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