went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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