Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
