Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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