I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
