Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Already got asked if we're dating
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
