is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
