My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
