I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Randomize
