I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
