Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Randomize
