Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize