You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Two words: nipple clamps
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