So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
