I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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