did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
