I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
