so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
