some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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