No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
