In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
