like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
My ass is underappreciated
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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