ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
