i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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