I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
