Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Randomize
