is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
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