yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
