He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
