Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
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