at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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