I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
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