I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
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