I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
