Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize
