If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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