would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
