Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
