WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Are we still banned from the library?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
