Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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