Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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