just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
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