we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
