Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
