this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
