I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
why do cheetos always look like penises
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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