Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
