I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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