guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
