Duck Duck Cougar?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
